OK, we get it, you're a numbers guy. You quantify sunsets, amortize your Corn Flakes and calculate the P/E ratio of your son's lemonade stand. So it may disappoint you to learn that the number of times your vodka is distilled and filtered does not, in fact, have much to do with its flavor. What matters more is how it started life -- the margins between wheat vodkas, rye vodkas, soy vodkas, grape vodkas and beet vodkas being far greater than how many times they were poured through a cheesecloth.
Which brings us to that most misunderstood of all vodkas: potato vodka. Only 3 percent of vodka worldwide is made from potatoes, meaning that few know the first darn thing about it -- or even where it's from. "A misconception is that Russians make potato vodka, but they make vodka mostly from grain," says Aaron Harmych, bar manager at Red Square in Las Vegas, which boasts 217 vodkas, a mere six of which are spud-based. Still, Harmych says that potato vodkas, noted for their full-bodied, viscous character, are vital for their ability to pair with one particular luxury item: caviar. "The oiliness of caviar is a great complement to potato vodka. Almost all of our caviar is Russian, and I still generally recommend a potato-based vodka."
So next time you're toasting another closing by opening a tin of the Caspian Sea's finest, pour one of these. Not only are they among the few potato vodkas available in the U.S., most are actually from the U.S. Thus, in addition to bankrolling Russia's caviar trade, you'll be seeding American interests -- and doing your part to responsibly finance the delicate balance of world powers.
*Pairings courtesy of Aaron Harmych.
Karlsson's Gold
Buyout: $40
Sector: Sweden
Valuation: Richly layered and exciting from the first sniff, Karlsson's boasts subtle marzipan, nougat and honey aromas. The caramel flavors continue on the palate, followed by undertones of cough drop, licorice and figs. With seven different potato varieties in the mix, as opposed to the usual one, this is the Bordeaux blend of vodka, with all components carefully balanced by master blender Börje Karlsson, the man who previously crafted Absolut.
Merge With: Crisp and buttery American Spoonbill caviar ($65)*
Chopin
Buyout: $35
Sector: Poland
Valuation: The Podlasie potato used in Chopin contains 18 percent starch, a nice premium over the typical 12 percent, making for a potato mash that is extra rich and robust. Indeed, if this bottle came with a dollop of sour cream, it'd be the vodka equivalent of a baked potato -- with an earthy, robust flavor that features hints of potting soil, ginseng and raw spud. The flavor is slightly rustic -- but in an endearing, American Gothic sort of way -- and the full, oily texture coats the mouth before a pleasing bit of peppery spice on the finish.
Merge With: The large pearls and bold flavor of "000" Beluga caviar ($275)
Blue Ice
Buyout: $20
Sector: Idaho
Valuation: While vodka is at least 40 percent alcohol by law, that leaves 60 percent for water -- and the use of snowcap-melt water, filtered through volcanic rock before reaching a 200-foot well, ensures this vodka is pure enough to bathe in. (Editor's note: not recommended.) Containing the product of 9.5 pounds of potatoes per bottle, it is simple and clean, with subtle aromas of cucumber and scallion that make it as fresh and crisp as a garden salad. Despite having a name that sounds like a bad rap act, Blue Ice is equally good for mixing or sipping.
Merge With: Creamy, nutty Tsar Imperial Sevruga caviar ($195)
Spudka
Buyout: $13
Sector: Oregon
Valuation: This delicate vodka has a minimal aroma -- as would
you after being rammed through a 139-plate distillation -- and just a hint of mocha. Indeed, it's a fine match for mixed drinks, given its tropical flavors of mango and pineapple, and the pleasing mineral character of the palate, balanced with a touch of vanilla. Introduced in 1962, this is America's first potato vodka by a few decades, and even its price looks more like a relic of the Cold War.
Merge With: Creamy Baerii Osetra caviar ($135)
Teton Glacier
Buyout: $25
Sector: Idaho
Valuation: Made from russet potatoes, the same high-sugar spuds
that are typically used in fast-food French fries, this vodka boasts a clean aroma that shows notes of parsnip plus hints of honey, lavender and cream. A fruity sweetness follows on the palate, along with the gentle and satisfying viscosity of a good 10W40, making this an excellent candidate for mixing with juices. Vanilla flavors round out the finish.
Merge With: The medium-sized, rich pearls of Tsar Classic White Sturgeon caviar ($165)
